Putting On My Game Face

Waking this morning I find myself tiered. I engaged in a lot of physical exercise last night after running around all day at work.

Coffee!!! That is my present answer, and vitamins

How do we get from zero to hero
Go from being dead tired to energetic and happy.

I turn my focus to others, I’ll begin with you.

It is my true hope that you have a fantastic Friday and a wonderful weekend. You may not know it but you have the power to save lives today, to shine a ray of light into someone’s dark world or brighten a dull day. if we’re fortunate enough we may encounter someone who needs compassion and encouragement, we can easily provide this at no cost to us.

What to say is not of much importance . You may think, I don’t know if I could do that? If you see the person, you know the one visibly stressed perhaps, head in hand or even crying. Think of them as yourself, or a close friend
Approach them and say something like;
Good (whatever time of day it is)
Whatever is going on with you right now has just got you really overwhelmed, you will come to understand it and make your peace, you don’t have to do it all right now. I hope you try to shift your focus away from what’s got you upset. You seem like a great person and people will miss your smile today if your not wearing it.

Easier with less talk is;
Hey, I hope your day gets better the way you feel right now will change, try not to let it ruin your whole day.

Why don’t you try to pull yourself together and change your focus, it isn’t doing you any good to dwell on what’s troubling you. Try and think of something that makes you happy.

We can stay hurt or upset as long we like. It is far better to assess whether or not we can affect or change what is bothering us or not. If we have no power or control over it all we can do is allow it to happen the way it is supposed to.
Best advice I ever got.
1. Get out of the problem and get into the solution.
2. Just do the next right thing that is in front of you
3. If I’m not the problem there is no solution
3. Is the simpler than it sounds
The problem although it may be an external situation, the real problem resides in our ability to cope, understand, or accept something.
Usually when something goes against our will, what we want, or think we need, and our inability to accept it.

If you or someone you know is in a struggle I suggest questioning it for yourselves
What am I to learn from this?”
Am I out of balance, have I put to much importance on someone or something?
Have I made myself dependent or am I obsessing over?
Disorder or unbalance can cause spiritual illness and sadness, we can want or need things too much, seek balance

Let go and let God Thy Will not mine be done
Happy is the only way to be, why bother with anything else, Jason


Change Your Programing

It pays off to filter out certain content!
I had a mentor tell me “Garbage in garbage out!” He went on to say that I needed to be careful what I put in my mind, through what I watch and listen to.

We’re inundated daily with news, television, and people which can hit us with a constant barrage of doom & gloom, negativity and disfunction if we allow it.

Think about it you watch a sad movie you find yourself sad, listen to fast tempo music and you may find yourself nervous. If someone is always telling you the woes of the world or there always complaining or depressed it may impact your emotions, thoughts, or set the tone for your day. If somebody makes you angry how long can it last? Who else will be affected or deprived of your true self?

We cannot eliminate or completely control all of the information and situations that come to us.

Here’s what we can do;
We can recognize what’s being presented and cultivate change or navigate away from the things or people who negatively impact us.

Another wise person told me “we’re called to love everyone, we don’t have to like them or engage in long fellowship with them, just love them.”

We don’t have to stay in the fog, muck, and mire with the toads, snakes and rats. We can seek higher ground and we might even be able to help others find their way out of the swamp.

Identify the people and sources of quicksand in your life and try not to go in it.

A kindred spirit blogged great stuff yesterday which inspired this.
Here’s hers


Believe it or not that’s an understatement. If you don’t see it maybe you haven’t been told for a while.

It’s true you’re awesome!

You need to tell yourself so you can hear it!       I’m Awesome!

If you didn’t feel awesome say it again, and this time own it.


You should have felt that and it feels good. That is something small to say  and it’s important for you to understand how true it is.

You are one of a kind. Created for a unique purpose. You are the only one that can bring what you have to offer.

Your intellect, wit, looks, laugh, charm, mannerisms, passion, focus, ability, experience, wisdom, insight, caring, thoughtfulness,compassion,  and so on.


Believe that you are wonderfully made and unique. I do.  I know it’s true.

Always talk nice to yourself. Try not to make negative comments when you make mistakes or something breaks.

Allow yourelf to be human. It is your imperfections which make “THE PERFECT YOU.”

If you really want to drive this home and make it an active part of your life, make a list of your best qualities, then read them aloud to yourself while you look in a mirror. Sounds goofy, but it really isn’t. Sometimes we need convincing and nobody else is doing it because they’re to busy with themselves.

If you do that, take it to the next level and make sure to tell everyone you can, as you encounter them, that they’re awesome and how incedible or amazing you think they are or what they do is and maybe even tell them why.

DON’T just say it! Wait for it to be real and genuine.  You have to mean it or it comes off like sarcasm or BS. They need to believe it too!

Keep doing what you’re doing, strive to be better, and help me make the world a better place one smile at a time.

You are awesome!!!





Taking your life and make it a living testimony to others.

Your story is unique to you, but there’s likely others that can identify with the events of your life.

If you’ve gone through the dark woods, climbed the mountain, swam the rapids, and weathered the storm, you have the gift of experience.

You’ve been there you’ve done that, maybe you wrote a book (LOL)

The question is, was it all for nothing?
Absolutely not, you can help where perhaps no one else can.

You can show someone else the way, how you were victorious, how did you go on living a happy life.

Wounded veteran?
Cancer survivor?
Death of parents?
Recovered Alcoholic?
Sex, drug addict?
Add infitum

What’s your experience, where have you found strength, and what is your hope?

Now where can you carry your message of hope, and also receive hope and healing telling your story and from listening to others.

There are many groups which are free to attend that would greatly benefit by your participation.
Pick the difficulty you’ve overcome and search out a support group, or create it.
There’s only one you, and nobody will ever no your experience unless you share it, let it not be in vein but in victory.
Healing’s in helping, Jason

Victim or Victorious

The Short version;

It is the events and experiences of our lives and how we handle them that develop our character for better or worse.

They also may significantly impact our present and hinder, cause us prejudice in our future, and even harm still others.

Nearly all of us have some tragic event, hurt, hardship, or pang which was directly caused by the action or our perception of the action of others. Where we felt “victimized”

Perception, understanding, and acceptance hold the key of protection from continued harm and healing.

These are some brief talks, paraphrasing, and a quote that have been passed on to me, which have changed my life.

If someone has hurt us or made us angry and we hang on to it, we can waste countless hours, that might have been better spent, thinking about that person rehashing (reharming) the events or situations in our head over and over again. (Victim)

What this does is it allows that person to rent free space in our head. We may often think of someone or event that we can’t understand or accept and it can make us mentally or spiritually ill, we may even be consumed by rage or hatred.

On the contrary, have we ever harmed anyone inadvertently, perhaps by some decision we made based on (self) what we wanted or didn’t want, which negatively impacted another? Possibly even helpless or thoughtless actions caused by mental health issues, alcoholism, substance abuse. (Years of inabbility to change or helplessness)


Leaving a spouse for whatever reason and children are harmed.

Being consumed by our own hurt and pain to the point that we’ve erected barriers depriving others of being close to us, thinking primarily of ourselves. (Victim).

Most people make decisions based on self. They are not thinking of others, yet sometimes we are affected. Like the person in a hurry in traffic they’re trying to get somewhere in a hurry, you may get cut off, honked at, flipped the bird, it really isn’t about you, they’re only thinking of their commute not yours, but you are affected.

Here’s the twist;

“We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, “This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.”

We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn’t treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.”

from; Alcoholics Anonymous pg. 66-67

The victory is in overcoming those difficulties and helping others not to get caught up in the things that are done. They are truly in the past the only thing left is sorting the files, taking an honest inventory of ourselves, cleaning up the wreckage of our past, letting go and moving toward our future “rain or shine” yesterday’s history today’s a gift and tomorrow’s a mystery.

This  prayer said daily changed my life

God, I offer myself to Thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!”

 Pg. 63 AA

This is an enormous subject if you’d like to know more or get reference material that may help you sort things out for yourself, please feel free to e-mail me at byersje@embarqmail.com


Worth and Worry

I don’t believe money and possession is the definition of our worth.

A wealthy person might say poor people who don’t have much often say that.
I had to pause for a second at how true both statements are.

I know worth is measured by others and by ones self, self worth is the most important, if we had everything and had loved and lost, we would give it all away to have our love back. If we were mortally wounded, deathly ill, or maimed what wouldn’t we give for good health.

King Solomon had immense wealth and said it was like sand sifting through his fingers.

If we live paycheck to paycheck, the mail box is full of final notices and the phone rings off the wall with calls from debt collectors, do we worry?

Worrying is futile, absolutely nothing good results from it.
Worry is fear of the “what if’s” and eminent consequence. It cannot change the outcome for the better it can only stress you out and steal your peace. It only makes it more dreadful and eventually affects your health.

A rule I’ve had since I was 20;
If there’s nothing I can do, I’m not going to worry about it.
The fact is we can put nearly all of our problems down and step away from the pile.
It’ll still be there when and if we get back to it.
The hard question is:
The easy question is:
What can I do?
I find when I do what I can (everything I can)
that really is all I can do, and in my limited experience it has always worked out.
Sure we may lose service, a vehicle., a house, but that would happen regardless of the amount of worry.
If you’ve ever experienced any of these things, you know that when certain things go, so does the burden of the payment and the worry.
So pay the electric and water first whichever has the higher reconnect fee, get out the ramen noodles and hot dogs, and keep doing as much as you can. Pray, a lot, live right, and support (not blame) anyone you love that’s going through it with you.

Don’t forget to be kind to yourself.
Say, “I’m doing my best, I constantly try to do better, and this to shall pass!”

Stay out of the problem by staying in the solution!
The secret to life is keep living!

One who has everything is not likely to appreciate much, and one doesn’t have much is likely to appreciate everything

Fast Fix From Your Inner Child

This is a great tool for turning things around, if you are feeling down.

When we we’re kids things were simple. Now that we’ve grown up everything is insanely complicated. We can’t help but get run over by the things in our lives sometimes, hell, sometimes our lives back up and park on top of us.

The temporary “Fast Fix”

Think back to when you were little, think of your favorite things, sounds, places you went, and what really used to light you up inside.

I’ve used this method many times but I thought of sharing this today because where the concept came from, occured as I was demolishing a wall. It wasn’t coming out easy and I was tinking this sucks. Then off in the distance I heard a train horn and the sounds of a train. It immediately changed my mood, I LOVE TRAINS! when I was a kid I’d freak out everytime I saw one, I’m sure I drove everybody nuts because they’re everywhere where I’m from.

That’s one of mine here’s a quick list of some others:

Smells, sights, and places of yesteryear- Cotton candy the stand becomming a sticky mess, Eating sweetcorn at the fair, the fair, going to the candy store with my Grandpa Fleener (that’s a great one) fishing in the catfish pond, exploring, and countless others

There’s also fragrances people we love that have gone used to wear, soaps, detergents and cleaning products that bring a tangible presence.

Additionally, songs/sounds from when you were little, I play “I’d like to teach the world to sing” sometimes to time travel back to the 70’s or Gordon Lightfoot

I even put  “The Hugo Montenegro Orchestra” (Composer of The Good The Bad and The Ugly and Pink Panther) in on Pandora and it plays movie soundtracks. I can invision places in the films and in my life.

Youtube is good as well for old shows and cartoons

Make your own mental list and use it you’ll be amazed by the results!  Try what works for you find other methods, search yourself and go to a happier place and time

Good things to you, Jason