Category Archives: Mental health

My journey through Loss and mourning.


There are choices to make as we continue on without the ones we love. We can take our mind to a place of soul crushing pain and anguish. We can cease to be in the world of the living, residing in a morass of melancholy sorrow. These things in the short term are not at all in our control, though we try. The emotions and reasoning even long term are hardly manageable. When we repress, attempt to manage, or distract ourselves with work or anything else it it can harm us and the people that miss us “being alive”. I was fortunate enough to have someone tell me “There’s healthy mourning and unhealthy mourning”
“The only way out is through” I took the initial time to really grieve and stay in my suffering of loss mourning is a form of prayer, communication of my feelings to God in the form of wailing, crying, yelling and so on. After the first week I tried to dive into work and get back to “normal” but couldn’t even think straight. I guess it came down to beating myself up enough for not making better use of the short time we had. I also equated my loss with Gods will, at first blaming him and then somewhat accepting my sons death as His will, my sons life as a gift, and at some point became grateful for that gift and the time we had. God was the way in and the way out. Without Him I couldn’t have continued. Nearly 12 years since his passing and the saving grace I’ve had is the hope of our reunion in eternal life after a long (short) life we’ll all be together again. We can’t die with them even tough part of us does, we must go on with a fervent life, do better, love more, and think of others instead of self. I still mourn in a healthy way and am mindful not to get stuck (when I can help it.) Writing poetry and thoughts like this helped (even the bad writing) . If I get in a rut, I talk to God and someone I love to get out. May God bless you and see you though?

Educated by Life

Inspire Blog

“If” we pay attention we learn our right relationship with the universe through our personal experience as it relates. (Mistakes or correct action)In other words over time we learn what works and doesn’t work (we can still choose to do things wrong against what is natural, knowing it doesn’t work, trying to force it because it’s comfortable, or we can practice what is right and uncomfortable until it’s comfortable and natural producing the proper result by righteous action.)

The many past perceptions which proved to be erroneous over time, were once our present state of mind. Perhaps our thinking in this moment today is incorrect. Possibly, hopefully we have learned from life experience and our judgement is better. The increments of learning are usually small and happen over a long period of time due to ego, obstinance, or plain stubbornness. When we are young we say “I know” or “I…

View original post 494 more words

Educated by Life

“If” we pay attention we learn our right relationship with the universe through our personal experience as it relates. (Mistakes or correct action)In other words over time we learn what works and doesn’t work (we can still choose to do things wrong against what is natural, knowing it doesn’t work, trying to force it because it’s comfortable, or we can practice what is right and uncomfortable until it’s comfortable and natural producing the proper result by righteous action.) 

The many past perceptions which proved to be erroneous over time, were once our present state of mind. Perhaps our thinking in this moment today is incorrect. Possibly, hopefully we have learned from life experience and our judgement is better. The increments of learning are usually small and happen over a long period of time due to ego, obstinance, or  plain stubbornness. When we are young we say “I know” or “I have this under control” (I got this) as to not let anyone flex their intellectual superiority on us (even when we didn’t know). I was fortunate enough at an early age to question everything and listen to what people had to say (l learned a lot right and wrong). In the same breath I can say in many cases I was only as properly informed as the sources of my answers. Always verify your sources and seek as many intelligent people you would emulate as you’re able with the same question (you may get that many different answers and they may all be wrong). If educated by the village idiot we may be in line for the title. Our best answers are given when we’re not asking or talking, unfortunately we usually have to hear them many times before we actually listen. When it comes to real personal experience there’s no better teacher. Test it out! Apply it to your life, does it work? Pain is a great motivator for correction if it hurts enough or brings us discomfort on any level we will normally avoid making the mistake again. I say normally because we will trade large amounts of pain, suffering and unhappiness for fleeting moments of euphoria or bliss. There’s something fundamentally screwed up with most of us. We’ll allow a cycle to continue for years until we decide the trade off is no longer worth the suffering. The point is really far away from most of what I wrote. It is GET TO KNOW YOURSELF AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE WORLD AND PEOPLE AROUND YOU, take time to access your journey (good and bad/blunders and achievements). 

Simple questions to help but only s start;

Am I happy with my life right now? (Where we’re at in our lives right now is the culmination of our life’s work, if we’re not happy we should change)

Are the things I invest my time, talent, and money going to produce the life I hope for? (A friend told me where I put most of these things into is my God or Master in other words, the most important thing in my life)

Am I a giving person or a taker? (Balance in all relationships is key, I am not the center of the universe)
Is my present path sustainable or am I constantly waiting for something bad to happen? (Sometimes we get caught in a vicious cycle because we don’t want to change or just give up)

There is more than existing, but we have to be living. The events of life are momentary we’re not supposed to relive them over and over. The fact is we cant. We’re supposed to feel, access, learn, accept and move on. If you need help ask for it, seek a psychologist, group therapy, grief counseling or a clinical professional who can help you to find your happy life.

The secret to life is keep living!

Jason Byers

The Clock is Ticking

image
From Cycle to Spiral
Time stamps a seal on all the things we do and feel somethings seem unreal
no matter how nice Nothing in life occurs twice Not for any price
All that we’ve been we will never be again
rules of time we cannot bend
Once we learn things are not the same It’s futile to live a life full of blame or shame
Forgive and let live it’s time for a change Take some time and rearrange
Your perspective will be clear if you let go of fear
Life is a vapor in the mist You can’t hold on to your first kiss Only sit back and reminisce
It’s how we move ahead that shows our worth if we stay behind we’re eventually lowered beneath the earth
Jump and shout or be quiet and still Whatever you do get your fill
We only have one life make it a thrill!
Jason

Word Therapy

This is a place that is totally me,
I have set myself completely free,
The blog posts within tell where I’ve been,
Deep feelings flow on a page,
Some veiled, cryptic, or full of rage,
Positive push and good tidings for you,
Healing remedies of thoughts I have used,
Confused emotions that I’ve lived through,
In this space I’m all over the place,
You never know what you might find
The ramblings of my mood a reflection of my mind,
All authentic completely exposed to you,
In this place I can be true,
I put myself out there to help others like me,
To know they’re not alone and that they can be free,
If what you read is not appealing, read a different post you might find it healing
Some of what I write is sad,
I may seem a little mad,
Most of the time I’m very glad,
Take what you can and leave the rest behind what I write won’t cost you a dime
I hope to never waste your time,
Be blessed, that’s my rhyme,
Jason

Slightly Worn

What do you do when the shine has wore off
the newness is gone
the thing you once possessed so vibrant and full of life
all the perceived expectations and excitement lived
the newness is gone
it has now been loved fully and in this process nearly ruined
as all my favorite things are
loved so much they’re worn  out completely do I love it the same or love it more because all I’ve gotten out of it!
Like the old pair of shoes that finally became comfortable but when it rains they take on water
the hat that fits just right but looks dirty
My comfortable T-shirt and jeans with the holes that I love, but when I wear them I look like a disheveled homeless person
This is not an object I speak of it’s my life
I look to my life and know that all the newness that once was there I rubbed off personally
every mark, blemish, stain, spot , and scar on my life, I have earned and worked very hard for
good and bad creaking, popping parts, scars, and dings are not flaws or fractures but character & beauty all creative parts of the evidence of my existence
The story in a piece of art
I continue to wear it, I proudly put it on everyday
It’s one of a kind
There’s no other like it on earth
Created by The Master Craftsman for a unique purpose
I look at my life and see
laughing and tears
Pain and healing
Struggles and victory
Death and life
Yin and yang
Most of all I have seen the workings of my life and the affect it has had on others and the understanding of greater purpose glad suffering and a penitent heart,
I look forward to the story to come, I’m going to keep sewing the holes and trying to polish the shine back on it, as I cherish the gift I was given.
Jason

Sensitive, Life of an Empath

A sense of emotion swallows me whole

I fall off the cliff with you as my heart is pulled from my chest
The lump in my throat is too big to swallow 
My mother told me when I was a child 

“You can’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, it’s just too heavy”

Quite often I understand what others don’t but it doesn’t make it better

to ignore it and deny you is to deny myself

To embrace you is another cut on my heart the open wound of my soul has room and is full of Gods love

I realize I used to isolate out of fear of feeling your pain, over elation or anxiety 

It’s not only the doldrums or other extremes though negative energy seems to dominate the majority 
It’s the dancing of my mind and spirit from one to the next in my ever changing environments

The rush in the air and excitement of events make me tense

I find myself overstimulated like a little baby that’s had too much activity
The joy that brings tears is my favorite 
When someone feels blessed by God 
overcome with joy to the point of weeping my heart is softened as to feel the joy of Angels
A babies laugh wipes everything away if for only a moment 
there’s nothing present but the elation of the child

I will laugh with you

worry with you

sigh with you 

cry with you 

and a piece of me will die with you. 

I will be there with your spirit
Help you up when you’re down
I will pick you up off the ground

Realizing we’re not alone 

feel for someone to the bone 

that’s how love is really shown

                                               ~ J ~