Category Archives: Poetry

Death Comes Calling

I just died again, it’s the second time today. 

The familiar song you used to sing along just began to play 

At first a smile and a memory of you and your special way

My heart can’t take when the song is done, you are gone, and I feel all alone

Time stands still with the lump in my throat, I feel I could fall to the floor

I feel weak and my bones can’t support my body anymore, a million pounds they hold me down and no one can pick me up from the floor

I died again and it just plain sucks 

I pull it together and begin to move, standing I leave my heart on the floor

I start to work and I stop because the pain I cannot endure

I find my strength and start again working without my heart

Empty chest just move my feet this is how I start

Busy my hands and listen to tunes and try to mend my wounds

Nearly every day is like this and you are missed, the sucker punch or the knife plunges in with a twist

Almost every movie someone’s kid dies and I die again

Relive the moments I last saw you lifeless knowing I will not see you again

I can’t continue to write the tears in my eyes are too thick and I’ve worked myself up to the point where I feel sick. 

Love your children and hold them close for they really mean the most. 

Night Terror

Sleep sets in I arrive in my nightly scene 

cast of haze inside this place

quite an eerie thing

This is where the darkness waits again, fix your mind this is in your brain

Sense of dread within, as I walk through bloodstain 

I pray for ease of this strain 

Lift the chain

How long must I do this in vein 

The occasional horror I am trapped 

as if I’ve been grabbed by a force unseen, I can’t scream in my dream 

Always silent it would seem

I can’t breathe, I’ve been seized 

Something has a hold on me

A phantom it must be

I can’t move, I want to be free

Sliding down the wall I collapse trying to yell

hhhellp! HHhelp!! 

It comes out 

HELP ME!!!

Winter Dance

Autumn moon’s a flutter, it is winter time

He drinks wine from her lips, as he spills his lies

The heat of their passion fills the room,

They’ve known each other for a time, yet they are strangers

Hiding themselves like children in a game of hide and seek 

Oblivious to the fact the other knowns their hidden places

Clinging tightly to that which they think they love, always with the lingering fear of losing their grip

Pulling and undulating, sliding on sweat, striving to make the other never forget

A breath and a whisper of naughty things said, as they behave badly tangled in the bed

A powerful clinch and embrace, ecstasy written all over their face

Lust’s sweet release and primitive peace

Lying into rest after passions success 

Fingers through hair they sweep, kisses so sweet and then falling asleep.

Groundhog Day 

Go to sleep another day in vein Tried to drown my sorrows and all that pain

Four drinks in and I didn’t feel the same 

As a matter of fact I couldn’t feel a thing

Something happens at around twelve drinks in

When I’m all alone and feel like I don’t have a friend 

I turn the bottle up again thinking I should do myself in

I get angry and destroy everything around

I drank enough whisky to put an average man down

Why am I here again I say with my head low 

What happened to me I do not know

I don’t understand how it’s all turned to shit

It’s everything, I just don’t get it

Everything is spinning I need to lay down 

This is as good as any this spot on the ground

My head is humming buzzing in my ears

It’s the same thing again, I’ve been doing for years

My nightly prayer was to let it end

So I didn’t have to wake up like Groundhog Day and do it again

Waking in the morning angry at the world

Wife says what’s wrong with you, I say I woke up, what a pearl

I’m sick of this stuff 

She was the one who had it rough

When it hurt bad enough I finally stopped 

I remember praying a lot

I started going to meetings and just didn’t drink 

I started listening to people I didn’t even know 

Because they were sober and I had no place to go

Someone told me I should be proud of myself for being a jerk

It was the culmination of my entire life’s work 

I should be happy and give myself a pat on the back 

He asked if that made me angry, I wanted to give him a smack 

I said yes

He said, that’s because It’s true you’re really a mess

The good news is you never have to feel this way again

All you have to do is change everything my friend

I have to admit I didn’t know what he meant then

He said what are you willing to do to get sober again

I’ll do anything, I want it to be over

Since then I’ve made many less mistakes when I started over

By doing whatever it takes, willingness to change has set me free

I had to trust somebody else so that I could see my drinking wasn’t the problem, the problem was me.

I had a living hell of a life that I created 

I let go and was emancipated 

God will set you free if you trust in him and do the work

Test the theory and see if it’s true begin to pray and it will happen for you, even I stopped being a jerk!
Recovered Alcoholic, Jason

The Clock is Ticking

image
From Cycle to Spiral
Time stamps a seal on all the things we do and feel somethings seem unreal
no matter how nice Nothing in life occurs twice Not for any price
All that we’ve been we will never be again
rules of time we cannot bend
Once we learn things are not the same It’s futile to live a life full of blame or shame
Forgive and let live it’s time for a change Take some time and rearrange
Your perspective will be clear if you let go of fear
Life is a vapor in the mist You can’t hold on to your first kiss Only sit back and reminisce
It’s how we move ahead that shows our worth if we stay behind we’re eventually lowered beneath the earth
Jump and shout or be quiet and still Whatever you do get your fill
We only have one life make it a thrill!
Jason

Word Therapy

This is a place that is totally me,
I have set myself completely free,
The blog posts within tell where I’ve been,
Deep feelings flow on a page,
Some veiled, cryptic, or full of rage,
Positive push and good tidings for you,
Healing remedies of thoughts I have used,
Confused emotions that I’ve lived through,
In this space I’m all over the place,
You never know what you might find
The ramblings of my mood a reflection of my mind,
All authentic completely exposed to you,
In this place I can be true,
I put myself out there to help others like me,
To know they’re not alone and that they can be free,
If what you read is not appealing, read a different post you might find it healing
Some of what I write is sad,
I may seem a little mad,
Most of the time I’m very glad,
Take what you can and leave the rest behind what I write won’t cost you a dime
I hope to never waste your time,
Be blessed, that’s my rhyme,
Jason

Sensitive, Life of an Empath

A sense of emotion swallows me whole

I fall off the cliff with you as my heart is pulled from my chest
The lump in my throat is too big to swallow 
My mother told me when I was a child 

“You can’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, it’s just too heavy”

Quite often I understand what others don’t but it doesn’t make it better

to ignore it and deny you is to deny myself

To embrace you is another cut on my heart the open wound of my soul has room and is full of Gods love

I realize I used to isolate out of fear of feeling your pain, over elation or anxiety 

It’s not only the doldrums or other extremes though negative energy seems to dominate the majority 
It’s the dancing of my mind and spirit from one to the next in my ever changing environments

The rush in the air and excitement of events make me tense

I find myself overstimulated like a little baby that’s had too much activity
The joy that brings tears is my favorite 
When someone feels blessed by God 
overcome with joy to the point of weeping my heart is softened as to feel the joy of Angels
A babies laugh wipes everything away if for only a moment 
there’s nothing present but the elation of the child

I will laugh with you

worry with you

sigh with you 

cry with you 

and a piece of me will die with you. 

I will be there with your spirit
Help you up when you’re down
I will pick you up off the ground

Realizing we’re not alone 

feel for someone to the bone 

that’s how love is really shown

                                               ~ J ~