Tag Archives: #bipolar #mental health #understanding# #hurt #confused

Can’t Isn’t an Option

Some of the most valuable things I’ve learned in my life are these quotes;

“Can’t isn’t an option when you have to!”

I learned this during intense training, it was drilled in over and over again at moments I was already well past my limits physically and mentally.

Another pearl of wisdom was this quote which goes hand in hand with the other one:

“Keep moving!!! You slow down, you stop, and you die!”

The quote that probably drives me to blog and reach out to others in my day to day life is this:

“No one gets left behind!”

These fundamentals can bring you beyond your limitations; they’ve brought me through more situations in my life than I have time to talk about. I will say; What wouldn’t you be willing to do to survive, not live well or happy, just survive? When your situation means do or die, I suggest do.

Survival points;

I grew up around the tip of Lake Michigan. This is one of the things that made it easy for me to embrace these concepts because they were already part of my life. It gets cold; I’m talking 20 degrees below zero cold with a wind-chill factor of 60 below. If you go outside after a shower you can hear your hair freeze in seconds. This is a great reference because you absolutely have to keep moving “If you slow down, you stop, you freeze to death” “You never leave anyone behind” I was walking home once and it was a little over a mile, but in this kind of cold and wind 100 feet seem like a mile. It had been snowing for days, all of the roads were closed, and snow drifts were 13 feet high. I had walked about 3/4 of the way, and decided i was going to take a short cut across the golf course. I started up the embankment at the side of the road; my feet were plunging into the snow to my upper thigh with every step (about 3 feet). I got a little better than half way up and WOOOOOFFF! I dropped into the drifted snow up to my armpits. The snow was packed in enough that I could barely move. I was in trouble, already near frozen because I thought I was a bad ass and wasn’t dressed properly. I was wearing jeans with sweat pants under them, 2 t-shirts, a flannel, and a thin Harley Davidson, straight collar, Leather jacket without a liner, two pairs of socks and my hiking boots. With no gloves, no hat, and no scarf. I had been warming my hands under my arms, then warming my ears with my hands, and cupping my hands over my nose trying not to get frostbite. I would run this cycle over and over as my freezing hands were also my warming tools that I would constantly have to reheat.

So, here I am, stuck in a snow drift half frozen and I’m gassed. A real “Uh Oh!” moment. All I could move was my arms and I couldn’t reach anything. I had to do something, but couldn’t do anything. “Can’t isn’t an option when you have to!” There was a tree branch about a few feet away, so I began nudging the snow. Little by little I bumped forward, then back, then forward then back. The snow didn’t move much because I fell in the plow line and the top was packed. I rocked to and fro for what seemed like an eternity and finally I got a hold of the branch and dragged myself out. Freezing cold now, the wetness from being stuck in the snow froze my clothes. I continued on walking in 3 feet of snow feeling like I couldn’t take another step, but knowing to stop is to die. If you’ve ever been out in that environment for a while you know that everything aches, your feet hurt, your ears feel like they’re being cut off by the wind. Your hands and nose feel like ice icicles also being cut and burned, it can be brutal! Obviously, I survived, cold weather situations like that would happen. We broke down in a car with my Mom and she had blankets in the back. She hitched a ride with a trucker, because if we would have stayed there we would have froze to death. I think it was my Mom, oldest brother and I. (extreme examples or rant if you will)

The point is, no matter what obstacles or challenges we face in life we must push on. What matters is our survival. We then have an opportunity to make better choices, be more prepared (keep blankets in the trunk, dress warmer, steak a sign in the ground that says thin ice or crevasse). Over time and through life experience we learn not only to survive but to thrive. We can warn or help others be aware or overcome obstacles or dangers. Look at the Eskimos, look at people who have lost love and learned to love again, or people who were once in a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body, that hated life itself, now love it and are filled with joy. I’m one of these people and you CAN be too.

Take these quotes and add them to your arsenal and when all else fails just keep going!

“Can’t isn’t an option when you have to!”

“Keep moving!!! You slow down, you stop, and you die!”

“No one gets left behind!”

“I can”

“i’m willing”

Love everyone, including yourself, you’re incredible, ~ J ~

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Why’s Everybody Hiding

I love it when I come into contact with real people, that are not afraid to be their true self. Here’s a story of an inquisitive young man. As he walks out into the world he sees seemingly everyone running around frantically everywhere, trying to find a good hiding place. He calls out to one of them why’s everybody hiding? The man replies, we have to hide or the one of the monsters will terrorize us. What monsters he says? Conformity, Judgement, Gossip, and the Politically Correct monster. That doesn’t make much sense because this is all wide open space and there are really no good hiding places. The man says, we just pretend to be something else, like a tree or a car. The young man shakes his head a little and say’s that’s ridiculous, it’s obvious to everyone, that all of you people are pretending to be something your’re not. The man says, well that’s just what we do. Everybody knows it and nobody says anything. Unless someone thinks they don’t have to hide and then we’ll talk about them. OK?, strange?. thanks for clearing that up sir.

It seems most everywhere I go, everybody is hiding, either part or all of themselves behind some sort of concocted persona they’ve made up. Only showing you what they want you to see. Most are constantly worried about the perception of everyone else. How does my house look (outwardly), what kind of car do I drive, what do I do for a living, what does my spouse look or act like, do my children behave well and have acceptable manners, and so on. Meanwhile, most often everything is not as it appears, they may be miserable, in debt up to their eyeballs, having abuse or other scandals behind there golden doors. How many times do we see people who seem to “Have it all” end up in total crisis or dead. Happiness is an inside job it is not external.

I think that sounds like an awful lot of investment on all fronts with no real dividends. Especially considering nobody else really appreciates anyone having more or better of anything. Usually people that talk smack talk smack no matter what. The confines of fitting the norm and being like everyone else is like the stepford wives to me. People rob themselves of there true character and freedom of self expression because of fear. Oh, gasp, you shouldn’t, you can’t, what will people think, what will they say?

They will say what they will say. In fact “People” may take great delight in having something to talk about, especially if they can place themselves above you by assassinating your character or worth.

I say please above all else be true to yourself. Seek what makes you happy, not everyone else. This is your life, this is it, enjoy every possible minute. I avoid people that have it twisted, because it’s all an illusion, King Solomon said all of his vast wealth was like sand falling through his fingers.

This is a poorly paraphrased story from Genesis that I thought of before writing.

When Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge in the garden of Eden (after God told them not to) They realized they were naked and immediately covered themselves. God came into the garden and they hid from Him. God already new what they had done. God said why are you hiding yourselves.

They had everything they could want, but there was more to be had.

I am rich beyond measure, and you are also, “if” you have your values correctly placed. Love everyone, including yourself’ ~ J ~