I’ve had many behaviors, attitudes, and actions I put into place over a number of years to protect myself from being harmed.
These mechanisms eventually caused me more harm than they protected me from.
There’s a saying I heard that kind of goes with this line of thinking
“If you stick it out there, it may get cut off.”
Basically what it lends to is fear, fear of rejection, ridicule, or being ostracized and eventually lead me to isolation, eccentricity, and egoism.
I wouldn’t try to join or participate in anything.
I wouldn’t try to make friends
I’d be reluctant to go to social gatherings/events or engage in conversation.
I’d hold back that question (you know?) The one where you really want to know the answer but you’re afraid to ask because people might laugh or you might look like a dummy)
It was pride, ego, self-esteem, and insecurity.
False Evidence Appearing Real
Years ago my wife wanted to throw me a birthday party and I said “I don’t want you to invite a bunch of people over here” She said “We’re having a birthday party
My problem was, what if nobody shows up? I’d be hurt, so let’s not even “stick it out there”
Everyone that was invited showed up.
Things are much different today because I started doing things that made me uncomfortable.
Going to gatherings
Speaking to people (even publicly)
Reading aloud in a group setting
Asking the questions understanding there’s no such thing as a stupid question
Participating in functions
Trying and accepting that I’m human and am not perfect but with practice and effort, I’m able to function at a higher level in all of the previously mentioned.
A wise man once told me (John Ludt III)
I can’t see the future, to put my crystal ball away, that I wasn’t a magic mind reader. I just needed to participate, allow things to happen and stop imagining all the the outcomes and “what if’s?”
The truths we know
You’ll never know if you don’t try!
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, again!
Practice makes perfect!
Jump right in, the water’s fine!
You can’t dance with your back against the wall!
Have you ever sat inside looking out the window at the other kids playing and had your Mom tell you “Are just going to sit there all day and watch them or are you going to go out there and play?” And then make you go out there. I remember the feeling approaching the other kids, fearing rejection or ridicule. Most of the time I ended up having a blast! Regardless I was better for having the experience and interaction.
To you I say get out there and play, join in the fun winning or losing, playing is fun!
Thanks Mom, I love you, Jason