Out of The Comfort Zone!

I’ve had many behaviors, attitudes, and actions I put into place over a number of years to protect myself from being harmed.
These mechanisms eventually caused me more harm than they protected me from.
There’s a saying I heard that kind of goes with this line of thinking
“If you stick it out there, it may get cut off.”
Basically what it lends to is fear, fear of rejection, ridicule, or being ostracized and eventually lead me to isolation, eccentricity, and egoism.

I wouldn’t try to join or participate in anything.
I wouldn’t try to make friends
I’d be reluctant to go to social gatherings/events or engage in conversation.
I’d hold back that question (you know?) The one where you really want to know the answer but you’re afraid to ask because people might laugh or you might look like a dummy)
It was pride, ego, self-esteem, and insecurity.
F.E.A.R.
False Evidence Appearing Real

Years ago my wife wanted to throw me a birthday party and I said “I don’t want you to invite a bunch of people over here” She said “We’re having a birthday party
My problem was, what if nobody shows up? I’d be hurt, so let’s not even “stick it out there”
Everyone that was invited showed up.
Things are much different today because I started doing things that made me uncomfortable.
Going to gatherings
Speaking to people (even publicly)
Reading aloud in a group setting
Asking the questions understanding there’s no such thing as a stupid question
Participating in functions
Joining in
Trying and accepting that I’m human and am not perfect but with practice and effort, I’m able to function at a higher level in all of the previously mentioned.
A wise man once told me (John Ludt III)
I can’t see the future, to put my crystal ball away, that I wasn’t a magic mind reader. I just needed to participate, allow things to happen and stop imagining all the the outcomes and “what if’s?”

The truths we know
You’ll never know if you don’t try!
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, again!
Practice makes perfect!
Jump right in, the water’s fine!
You can’t dance with your back against the wall!
Have you ever sat inside looking out the window at the other kids playing and had your Mom tell you “Are just going to sit there all day and watch them or are you going to go out there and play?” And then make you go out there. I remember the feeling approaching the other kids, fearing rejection or ridicule. Most of the time I ended up having a blast! Regardless I was better for having the experience and interaction.

To you I say get out there and play, join in the fun winning or losing, playing is fun!

Thanks Mom, I love you, Jason

MAKE A DIFFERENCE! II

“Building and noticing worth”

You are unique in every way!
You have special gifts, and aptitudes which give you the ability to impact the lives of many people.
Your gifts recognized by you and used to the full potential will even greatly impact your own life.

I’ll make great effort today to put the most into it, so that I can get the most out of it. I will genuinely be concerned for the happiness and well being of everyone I meet. I will try to appreciate the roll they play in the cosmic machine and acknowledge their significance in the world or my life.

I apply this same thinking to my life and my various rolls, the impact each one has on others, and the overall significance of what I do.
It makes it worth while and turns the mundane into the extraordinary.

Put a positive spin on it!

These are some of my common practices and how this concept works.

One of my actual e-mail’s-
Background; I sent a pleasant e-mail to a person I would consider to be negative, asking a simple question not anticipating that she would fire some one else up first thing Monday morning. When I noticed the third parties reply I sent this

From: Byers, Jason
To: person from other department
Subject: Good morning

Sorry for the ambitious start this morning, I hope you have a Magnificent Monday Amanda!
I hope everyone you come in contact with today is in a great mood, gracious, and nice to you.

HER RESPONSE:
Thank you Jason! That is such a nice email to receive first thing and now I know my day will be magnificent!
I hope & wish the same for you! J

This is not the typical response, many times it’s “crickets” (I don’t get a response.)

I didn’t put it out for a response, I did it to genuinely encourage her to strive toward and look forward to a “magnificent Monday!”

It truly is the little things.
I hope you have a wonderful Wednesday!

Jason

Emotional Trap

First of all let me start by saying I’m not a mental health professional.
Making the world a better place starting with me. Emotions that we experience can be great, even perceived negative emotion can be beneficial for healing, however there are times they are too much (high-high/ low-low and long lasting) I used to find myself down or in a bad mood and that would be as far as I got with any thought of it. Then I’d just try to shrug it off and move on. Conversely, I’d find myself over elated, nervous, or bouncing off the walls. Emotions can take hold if we allow them to and we can get stuck in a pattern (trap).
THE SOLUTION IS IN THE PROBLEM!
(Balance)
What I do differently is- I pay attention to how I’m feeling and then search out the why of it.
Problems
CIRCUMSTANCES of life or situation based
Illness, sudden change, death, loneliness, tiered, hungry, mental strain, job, relationships, and so on.
Empathy, negative, angry, depressed, bitter, and nasty people can affect us as well.
As obvious as it sounds the opposite of the problem is usually the solution. When this cannot be achieved the answer is acceptance and making the best of it or bringing as much good out of our example of living (overcoming or living contently with our problem)
Try to limit fellowship with negative people or help them become positive
Proper Perspective
First address why and then work on getting out of it by going through it. Pen and paper
Cause –
Can I change it-
Do I need to accept it

Gratitude list are very good also
What are you grateful for?
“The opposite of curse is blessing”

Empathy and outside stimulation
People, entertainment, hospitals, funerals, Facebook lol

If you’re depressed comedy is good.
Watch a “baby laughing video”
Funny animals, skits. Etcetera.
Laughter is truly the best medicine for most everything. Lack of physical activity, low lighting, sad people, sugars, stimulants and medications. Be mindful of what you put in yourself and the paths.
Eat, see,hear,feel
DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!

If you’re over elated or nervous
Is coffee, caffeine or sugar a problem
Noise or a bustling environment, even things like odors, smoke,and bright light can factor in.
Find a nice quiet spot and listen to nature or some soft music
TRY TO CALM YOURSELF

The main thing is question the emotion and seek proper perspective.

“You’ve got to accentuate the positive and deliberate the negative and look out for Mr. In between”

This is a quote from Alcoholics Anonymous book pg.. 417

Acceptance
“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed,
It is because I find some person, place, thing, situation —
Some fact of my life — unacceptable to me,
And I can find no serenity until I accept
That person, place, thing, or situation
As being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.
Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober;
Unless I accept life completely on life’s terms,
I cannot be happy.
I need to concentrate not so much
On what needs to be changed in the world
As on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.”

Make a difference!

Affect and change everyone’s day that you come into contact with. We have the power to eliminate negative thoughts by replacing them with positive thoughts.
Encourage all, see the value in others (what service they provide, all the good that comes from it). Identify people by name and thank them for being part of your day. “It’s good to see you” talk to you, I’m glad you’re here because you always make my day a little better.

Encourage and be encouraged
Give and receive gladness in giving